来自http://quotes.prolix.nu/Movies/Clerks/和http://www.moviefanatic.com/quotes/movies/clerks/
单看台词也不算剧透吧？又精辟又贱格的台词
I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
- -Randall
"I'm offering you my body, and you're offering me semantics."
- Caitlin Bree
Try not to suck any dick on the way out of the parking lot!
- Dante
You ever notice that all the prices end in nine? Damn, that's eerie.
- Dante
You get me slapped with a fine, you argue with the customers and I have to patch everything up, you get us thrown out of a funeral by violating the corpse, and then to top it off, you ruin my relationship. I mean, what's your encore? Do you, like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?
- Dante Hicks
Noise, noise, noise...smokin' weed, smokin' weed, doin' coke, drinkin' beer. My good man its time to kick back, drink some beer and smoke some weed.
- Jay
I don't know it you know this or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
- Randal
Melodrama coming from you is about as normal as a bowel movement
- Randal
People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."
- Randal
I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Espcially since I rule.
- Randal
Hermaphadidic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box, beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.
- Randal
Man, there are a million fine girls in the world, but not all of them bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.
- Silent Bob
"Cute cat, whats its name?" "Annoying customer." "Fuck you asshole!"
- Two Guys
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
- Dante Hicks
Dante: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!
Customers: In a row?
Randal Graves: My mom's been f**kin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.
Caitlin Bree: I'm offering you my body and you're offering me semantics.
Randal Graves: You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push f**king buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You-You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a s**tty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so f**king advanced, what are we doing working here?
Randal Graves: The jizz-mopper's job is to clean off the glass after each guy shoots a load. I don't know if you noticed, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
Offended Customer: I will never come to this place again!
Dante Hicks: I'm sorry?
Offended Customer: Using filthy language in front of the customers, you both should be fired!
Dante Hicks: I'm sorry, I guess we got carried away.
Offended Customer: I don't know if sorry could make up for it, you've highly offended me.
Randal Graves: Well if you thinks that's offensive, check this out! I think you can see her kidneys!
Indecisive Video Customer: They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good... are either one of these any good?... Sir?
Randal Graves: What?
Indecisive Video Customer: Are either one of these any good?
Randal Graves: I don't watch movies.
Dante Hicks: Yeah, I mean aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. I mean that's what high school was about, algebra, bad lunch, and infidelity.
Caged Animal Masturbator: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.
Randal Graves: Duh duh... duh duh... duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh... Salsa shark! We're gonna need a bigger boat! Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark.
【卧槽，这里萌死我了】
Randal Graves: Oh what, what's with you, man? You haven't said anything for like twenty minutes. What the hell's you're problem?
Dante Hicks: This life.
Randal Graves: This life?
Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life?
Randal Graves: Have some chips, you'll feel better.
Dante Hicks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than a slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass f**k on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after f**king a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 d**ks.
Randal Graves: 37.
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