你 第一季

贝尔虽然已经是艺术硕士在读，但她依然保留着中学时代的理想主义情怀，这让她看起来天真、单纯和善良，但没有人能始终待在象牙塔里，靠小聪明出类拔萃。理想与现实之间存在的割裂感，让她难以面对自己可能缺少天资的事实，这是她存在的问题之一。

不去面对问题，就永远无法解决问题，也难以找到问题的本源。她是努力的，只是迷失了应该去努力的方向，她不断努力地运用小聪明和性别魅力，通过交有钱朋友、富二代炮友来实现虚假的阶级跨越，无数个社交碎片拼凑出了她的迷茫和不甘寂寞。

贝尔习惯性回避问题的特点，从她和乔交往的过程中也可见一斑。和乔产生分歧的当下，她无法坦诚说出实话，还会在生气后第一时间离开现场，隔一段时间，再敲敲乔的公寓门，举起手里的甜甜圈说I miss u，和好之后对上一次争吵闭口不提。

贝尔的“自私”是她情感缺失的附加品，是无意识的流露，她不是精致的利己主义者，她大部分时间处于混沌的状态，难以照顾好自己，更难以“爱人”。童年的创伤、成长过程中缺乏“权威”的认可与庇护，使贝尔潜意识里渴望来自父亲（男性/男权）的爱与认可。同时，由于她儿时缺少良好的引导和直面并解决问题的习惯，让她在面对抉择时总是心乱如麻，好像心里开了一个欲壑难填的缺口，不惜犯错来制造新的问题，来转移对旧问题的关注。

对累计叠加错误的心知肚明，给她带来了沉重的挫败，为她的自负蒙上了自卑，仿佛自己的存在就是问题本身，所以她更加地渴望得到别人的关注与偏爱，从而转移对自己的关注度。这也是她需要炮友的原因之一，两性的欢爱是最唾手可得的“偏袒”，就像食欲是欲望中最容易满足的一样。

我很喜欢贝尔这个人物的塑造，她的身上可以看到女性成长过程中面临的多种诱惑和难题/恶劣的两性关系带来的深深浅浅的负面影响/儿时负面的交流环境带来的情感处理问题等等，她作为女性的矛盾和困境贯穿了这一季的始终。

How the hell did u end up here? U used to wrap urself in fairy tales like a blanket, but it was the cold u loved. Sharp as u uncovered the corpses of bluebeard's wives, sweeter goosebumps as prince charming slid one glass slipper over ur little toes a perfect fit. But by the schoolyard, real princesses floated by u on fall winds.

U saw the gulf between u and the rich girls and vowed to stop believeing in fairy tales. But the stories were in u deep as poison. If prince charming was real, if he could save u, u need to be saved from the unfairness of everything.

When would he come? The answer was a cruel shrug in a hundred fleeting moments. The sneer on Stevie Smith's face when he called you a fat cow. Uncle Jeff's hand squeezing your ass in the Thanksgiving kitchen. The accusation in your father's eyes when you told him what happened. From every boy masquerading as a man that you let into your body, your heart，you learned you didn't have whatever magic turns a beast into a prince.

You surrounded yourself with the girls you'd always resented,hoping to share their power, and you hated yourself.And that diminished you even more.And then, right when you thought you might just disappear,he saw you.And you knew, somewhere deep, it was too good to be true.But you left yourself be swept, because he was the first strong enough to lift you.Now, in his castle, you understand,Prince Charming and Bluebeard are the same man.And you don't get a happy end unless you love both of him.

Didn't you want this? To be loved?Didn't you want him to crown you?Didn't you ask for it?Didn't you ask for it? Didn't you ask for it?